I need to wait
After listening to “Rolling Hills” by Jill Scott I really felt captured by the message that she was trying to rely. Although, I am a highly sexual person and do have extreme NEEDS I should never put my worth in jeopardy. I think that I have just got caught up in trying to act out b/c I guess you can always blame it on being young. I’ve been doing things that I normally would not do just to be able to not have regrets that I didn’t do it. Normally I would listen to those around me but, somehow I feel like by listening to them I never end up doing what i really want to do. So, I most def lately been doing what I want to. But, somehow I don’t feel any happier. This past week Kyle came over and we made out and what not. My body is telling me that the next I should step it up and sleep with him but, my mind is telling me I shouldn’t. I really want to fuck his brains out but, deep down inside I know I should wait for someone better. Even though I don’t want to be with him, I should find someone who is more worthy of my loving. EHHHHHH! I want him bad!! And he is packing!!!! I’m so mad at myself for growing a conscious!! However, I know if I have sex with him, I am going to catch feelings for him and constantly be wondering what he is doing? When is he going to call? When will I see him next? I really do not have time for any of that right now. My dad has made a great investment in me, and I should do the same by focusing on my dreams but, also on my self worth.
But, I will still be down to make out with him again!!!!!!! Yummmmm!