After listening to “Rolling Hills” by Jill Scott I really felt captured by the message that she was trying to rely. Although, I am a highly sexual person and do have extreme NEEDS I should never put my worth in jeopardy. I think that I have just got caught up in trying to act out b/c I guess you can always blame it on being young. I’ve been doing things that I normally would not do just to be able to not have regrets that I didn’t do it. Normally I would listen to those around me but, somehow I feel like by listening to them I never end up doing what i really want to do. So, I most def lately been doing what I want to. But, somehow I don’t feel any happier. This past week Kyle came over and we made out and what not. My body is telling me that the next I should step it up and sleep with him but, my mind is telling me I shouldn’t. I really want to fuck his brains out but, deep down inside I know I should wait for someone better. Even though I don’t want to be with him, I should find someone who is more worthy of my loving. EHHHHHH! I want him bad!! And he is packing!!!! I’m so mad at myself for growing a conscious!! However, I know if I have sex with him, I am going to catch feelings for him and constantly be wondering what he is doing? When is he going to call? When will I see him next? I really do not have time for any of that right now. My dad has made a great investment in me, and I should do the same by focusing on my dreams but, also on my self worth.

But, I will still be down to make out with him again!!!!!!! Yummmmm!

I have no other choice but to succeed.

I need to find new people to hangout with..Brandee doesn’t like to party and Ashley doesn’t have any money!!! Grrr!! I’m trying to have fun and the people I know can’t!! I’m bout to just go by myself and meet people while I’m out

I applied for a job at 24 hour by my house..I hope I get it..It will only be part time but, the money I receive from the job I am going to save up

Fro poppin..jaws droppin..black hair scares people..but someone has to keep the public in fear and I don’t mind doing the job ;)..

My ex is ridiculous…honestly..This dude added me on fb today! Cmon Son!!! Now u know that ain’t about to happen. All this guy wants to do is look at my pics and show them to his people just so they can say, “Wow! She is gorgeous…Why did you let that get away?” So lame! I’m just going to not respond to the request and let my news pop into his news feed without us being friends!!! Hahahahaah!!! Its a dirty game, but someone has to play it ;)

Like this guy but I know shouldn’t

I can’t wait to breathe again..one more week.. I have to pull through!!!